Wednesday, January 09, 2019
|Image courtesy of geralt, pixabay. Creative Commons licensed.|
Tough times today. I have some major dental work scheduled this p.m. that is freaking me out. Dental work beyond a cleaning/x-rays is my biggest phobia. I have yet to find a dental practice that is as compassionate as the one I had in Massachusetts (God bless you, Dr. Poras), but until I find one, there's nitrous oxide and speaking up about things that bother me (like forbidding novocaine shot into my jaw joint rather than in the gums around the tooth, because jaw injections cause lingering pain that lasts for 8 weeks--NOPE, not dealing with that!).
The reasons for my anxiety lie in my youth, and are not important here. Suffice it to say that I need a lot of support today. I have a friend who volunteered to go with me to Lex, but I've decided to go alone and just have the gas. It worked for my recent root canal, which had me wild with agitation. And I know I alone am the best soother of me when things are rough. Call it an unexpected positive derived from learning to cope with a shitty, abusive childhood.
My serenity is seriously compromised today. I might go someplace afterwards for a snack/meal/drink because I'll be released around 5 PM and won't be able to deal with rush hour traffic in Lex. I'll need space. TG someone is home with my Kitty because she has not been well lately.
I generally take a shower before I go see any health provider. Not today. That's how wired up I am. Sorry, dudes. Hopefully I am not too stanky.
I know it will all be okay later, but for now--please drop a good thought or a prayer for me.
This is why I've never read the book/seen the movie "Marathon Man." Tortured in a dental chair? Oh, HELL, no. RL is bad enough.
Tuesday, January 08, 2019
|Image courtesy of geralt on pixabay. Creative Commons licensed.|
I have decided that visual art rather than words is the best way for me to express my creativity for now. While I might write the occasional piece for my own enjoyment, there is no money to be made in that space any more, not with Amazon's policies/KDP (which I refuse to participate in because it enriches no one but Amazon--it's a race to the bottom). I'd still write except for the fact that my regular publisher has gone out of business. She, too, cannot make money in the current environment.
I don't like the way our country's economic future looks. But that's another blog post for another time.
As for the visual art I plan to turn out, it will involve decorating useful things in fun and funky ways. I think there will be an Etsy shop in my future. I'll let you know. Need any fun small furniture items? I will ship all across the USA.
In more mundane matters, I'm slowly clearing out clutter and revamping my living space. So far, so good. I've begun exercising on an almost-daily basis again, running yesterday for the first time in weeks. I want my life back, and I am slowly reclaiming it. Not to mention I have to start training for the National Senior Games (June).
I've also spent time thinking about what I REALLY want to do this year. I am fortunate to have the luxury of a lot of free time at the moment. How do I want to spend it? What (and with whom) do I want to engage in/with?
I'm leaving huge chunks of time unscheduled each week. I haven't had a lot of free time on a regular basis since 2013. Even if my butt stays planted in the greater Berea area, it's good to know I will have a lot of thinking and dreaming time.
But I DO hope to engage in more traveling in 2019. Maybe I'll come see you!
What are your hopes/dreams/resolutions for the new year? I'd love to know.